and the Queen thought her wedding dress was 'too white' for divorcee EXCLUSIVEPrince Philip called Meghan 'DoW' because she reminded him of the Duchess of Windsor.EXCLUSIVEInside This Morning wrangling between Cat Deeley and ITV bosses: Star 'wants Rylan as her co-host' but is being offered Ben Shephard.Jonnie Irwin's grieving wife pleads 'me and the boys need you' as she says 'goodnight after eight bonkers years of love' in heart-wrenching tribute.A Place In The Sun's Jonnie Irwin dies aged 50 after three and a half year battle with cancer as his wife Jessica Holmes pays tribute to 'remarkable husband'.I s**t my pants with no warning while standing in my kitchen cooking dinner. 'I drank this once when I was having issues. Many commenters could relate to the post, with one person writing: 'It's funny because it's so so true.'Īnother added: 'The narrative is so real!' 'You're going to wake up, throw on the only remaining pair of underwear have and you're going to run up to Walmart with the last shred of dignity you have left.and buy yourself a new toilet brush. He insisted that 'life as you know it will never be the same. Less than 10 minutes later, he said 'you're broken, 'you're butthole is broke,' and 'you're spirit's broken. 'You're now curled up in the bathroom crying because you have to remain within arm's reach of the toilet at all times. 'You have crapped out everything you have ever eaten since the day you were born, everything your ancestors have ever eaten since the early 1800s, and your butt now feels like you have a flaming hot Cheeto and the tears of a thousand jalapeno seeds stuck in it,' he wrote. Striking a chord: Fans couldn't get enough of his hilarious account, with many admitting they've had similar experiences Mike noted that everything that happened between 1:06 pm and 8:30 pm was a 'blur,' explaining that it felt like there was nothing left in his body. The whole house just heard your liquid fart as it gurgled out of your butt.' You try to clench what's left of your butthole to soften the blow but it's not working. 'The smell is horrid.the sound is frightening. That's just the remnants of a cherry pie you ate at Thanksgiving.when you were 5,' he continued. 'The crap/water mixture you've just created comes out with such force that it actually sprays the back of the toilet bowl at a 45-degree angle thus deflecting it in every direction but down. 'Your cheeks barely hit the seat and all hell breaks loose,' he explained. Mike didn't hold back with his vivid description of what it is like to violently defecate after downing a bottle of a saline laxative. 'You pray to god there is enough elasticity in your butthole to keep the gates closed 5 more steps as you start to preemptively undo your pants to save valuable time. 3 seconds to make it to the nearest toilet but you can't run. Twenty minutes later, the magnesium citrate had kicked in and he found himself hobbling to the bathroom. Keeping it real: Mike's post was re-shared on Instagram, where a man called Ramond took credit for the graphic descriptions 'Take note.this is the last semi-solid think you will see leaving your body for the next 24 hours,' he added. 'You already have 5 lbs of impacted crap in your colon and you basically just drank the "safe for humans" version of Drano,' he explained. While he waited for the laxative effect to kick in, he said he ate a handful of chips, noting that 'it's going to turn to liquid form before it even clears your throat but you don't care.'īy 12:37 pm he had his 'first sign of life' as the pressure in his bowels grew. 'You are already regretting this decision.' 'It's supposed to be grape flavored but it's becoming quite clear that whoever led the R&D team that day has never actually tasted anything grape in their life,' he explained. He went on to reveal that he 'shotgunned 'a 10 oz bottle like it's a lukewarm PBR' at 12:05 pm, and the flavor wasn't great. Yikes: Facebook user Mike Dahlhauser has given a graphic play-by-play account about what it is like to drink a 10 oz bottle of the saline laxative magnesium citrate (stock image)
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